Heartbroken Part 3

On Friday we could not decide where to go. I was surfing the net for ideas while Asri took out the terrapins for their daily "exercise". J had asked us to take care of hers while she went away to Genting for holiday. Asri left the kids alone with the terrapins. Big mistake. When he went to the living room a while later, only our terrapin was left. J's terrapin had disappeared! We panicked of course. Immediately we asked Rayden what had happened as we were sure it was him who had hidden the little animal somewhere. We turned the whole house upside down but could not find any. We suspected that Rayden had thrown the terrapin out of the window. It spoiled my mood for the entire day.. We didn't go out till evening to take the flyer.

Then when we reached home, I just casually asked Kyan how Rayden had thrown away the terrapin out of the window. He demonstrated that Rayden had stood on the sofa and flung the terrapin out of the window. I became suspicious because I knew Rayden wouldn't have done that. A thought crossed my mind, maybe it was Kyan who did it. I asked him again and he admitted that it was him. I was shocked. I questioned why he did that. He said that he didn't like the small terrapin. I was really speechless. Asri caned him and both of us ignored him. He fell asleep, crying.

I really couldn't believe that he had done such a thing. Maybe he did it cos he didn't like K and he knew that the terrapin belonged to her, or maybe he did it to show us that he was jealous of his brother cos he's younger and smaller, ie, the terrapin was smaller than ours. I went to bed, perplexed.

The next morning Asri went downstairs to search for the terrapin but to no avail. Kyan woke up with swollen eyes. My heart went out to him but I still could not get over the incident. We went downstairs to search for the terrrapin before moving to Kovan and Tampines to find similar ones for J.

We couldn't find the right one. When we reached home, I was so mad with Kyan that I caned him again and sent him to his room. He screamed his lungs out. I knew I shouldn't have vented my anger on him. I was struggling with the shock that my son was actually so "evil" to throw a live animal down and the frustration of how to tell J about the fate of her terrapin. Kyan must have been traumatised because he mentioned that he was tired and went to bed by himself.

When I've calmed down, I spoke to him about the incident and he knew he was in the wrong. Asri said perhaps he is still young so he didn't know that he was actually killing an animal. Maybe his intention was just to get rid of it, as in get it out of his sight. I know I was too harsh on him. I felt really bad.

Asri felt bad too. He went to Serangoon to search for the "right" terrapin. He bought 2 similar ones back but they still don't look like J's.

Come Sunday, we went to Parkway to search for terrapins again but can't find any. That night, I told J what had happened. She was quite ok about it. I felt so bad.

I knew I came down too hard on Kyan. Sometimes when I looked at him, I can see this sadness in his eyes, as though to tell me that he knows he's wrong to do that. When I asked him to hug me, he hugged me really tight. I think he knows. Maybe I've to be more aware of his feelings. Maybe I've neglected him in a way cos I'd assumed he's older and can do more things on his own. Maybe he feels that we've been showering all our love and attention on his brother.

I really feel so sad. Maybe I've not been a good enough mother.

Holiday Activities

We brought the kids to the zoo on Wednesday. It was fun but tiring! The kids enjoyed themselves too, especially Kyan at the water play section. Rayden was claustrophobic cos he refused to step into the water at all.

Thursday we were at the Jacob Ballas Children's Garden at Botanical Garden. The kids had fun at the water play section. Before we could venture the park further, it poured. Thank god the kids had fun decorating recycled materials for the xmas tree. When the weather cleared slightly, we went into the park again for a quick tour of the place. Then it poured again so we decided to go home before catching the Elmo show at Marina Square.

Heartbroken Part 2

Last Tuesday Asri was on leave so we thought we'd just send the kids to school so we can enjoy couple time together. We had lunch at Parkway and thereafter to Raffles Place to pick up the calendula cream. I was not familiar with that area so I directed Asri to the OCBC carpark. Who knows that that would be a big disaster? The carpark was so narrow that we could barely make our way up as cars were coming down too. With each car either moving up or down, the other car in the opposite direction had to slow down or even stop to let that car pass. When we were rounding a corner, we heard a loud scrapping noise. The left rear door had knocked against a pillar and we could neither move forward nor reverse. Asri and I panicked. Then he moved the car slowly out of the fix but the damage was already done. Our left rear door was dented and scrapped badly, the rim of the tyre was also affected. Our hearts sank. He was in no mood to drive after that. We made some calls and went down to 2 workshops to get some quotations on how to fix the damage. Workshop 1 quoted us $550 to knock back the panel and it'l take 2 days. Workshop 2 gave us 2 options. Option 1: Change door - $350, spray paint - $320, labour - $80 so total $750. Option 2: Knock back the panel and spray paint $500. We decided on option 2 as it was an old car and we didn't want to spend so much. Touchwood, what if we were to knock it again? *sigh*, to upkeep a car is indeed costly as we've to budget for the unexpected. Well, this is indeed an expensive lesson!

Will you dance with me?

Last Wednesday, when we were at Carpe Diem picking the kids up, Teacher Debbie asked if Asri and I wanted to participate in the children's concert by doing a Waltz number. I thought why not, it seems fun. Asri agreed because he doesn't know what Waltz actually is. He thought it is just a simple dance. Haha.

For the next 2 days, we've got cold feet. We viewed some Waltz video from you-Tube and decided that it was too daunting for us! So I called Teacher Debbie on Friday morning to tell her that we are withdrawing ourselves from the dance. Too late, our request was rejected as our names were printed on the program sheet! Darn!

I was nervous for the entire day. I tried to search for an appropriate dress to wear but to no avail. I tried to think of a hundred and one excuses but met with no success. Asri says it's ok, we go up on stage to entertain people and have fun ourselves.

And we did, it was kinda fun. We concentrated on planning our moves and me just following his steps. We really enjoyed ourselves for that mere 6 minutes.

I am very proud to have such a sporting husband. I know of many who would not even appear on stage, let alone dance. He took it in good sport and I'm glad we did it. Haha.

And we are very proud of Kyan's performance too. He was so excited to see us and I know he knows that we are very proud of him!

Amazed by Kyan

I'm amazed by Kyan's linguistic ability in both English and Mandarin. Just yesterday, Teacher Florence was commenting on how Kyan can be a leader. She said he was teaching his classmates how to read one, two, three in Mandarin. He behaved like a teacher where he asked one to repeat after him, followed by another to read again. He even offered them praises, just like a real teacher! I'm so proud of him. Last night before bedtime, he picked up his magna doodle and wrote down the numbers from 1 to 10 in Mandarin and their hanyu pinyin! Then today, he wrote down ren, kou, shou, shang, xia and chong in Chinese characters! He even knew the hanyu pinyin for ren and xia. I'm surprised...




He also has an amazing capacity for English words. He doesn't exactly know the phonics rules yet but just commit the words to memory, I think. I can't even list down the words he knows. They're just too many! Today when the cab stopped at the traffic lights, he could read the road sign that says Tampines Rd, Upp Serangoon Road and Hougang Ave 2 and 3. Isn't that amazing?

Sometimes even when Asri is driving, he'll just look at the road signs and asks us if we are turning left or right to go to a particular place, e.g Changi Airport.

Just a few nights ago I taught him how to play Tic Tac Toe. Of course I had to give in to him but he soon understood the rules and even expressed interest in playing it again the following night.

I feel guilty. I kept telling myself I have to develop his phonics ability but have been procrastinating. While his interest is still sustained, I'd better do something about it. So it's jolly phonics we'll look into, followed by Ladybird phonics and sight word readers. Oh ya, I must also start Rayden on flashcards soon!

Godma?

I had a short and quick lunch with J today. It was quite interesting to catch up with her. She mentioned that her friend, E, is Mikayla's godma, but she hasn't even visited her in the last five years and that Mikayla doesn't even know how she looks like! Well, that story sounds familiar...which brings us back to Kyan's godma. Sometimes I don't even remember he HAD one. Well, it started when I was expecting and my friend, S, was so excited for me that she insisted to be Kyan's godma. Yes, as simple as that. I don't really like the idea but was quite indifferent about it, hoping she'll get the idea but she didn't. So she proclaimed to be Kyan's godma. That's how far the story stretches. I can count the number of times she'd actually visited or seen Kyan, all within my fingers still. She was there when Kyan was born, his 1st and 2nd birthday and that's about it, plus the 2 to 3 times ad hoc visits. She didn't send Kyan any birthday present for his 3rd or 4th birthday. Distance is always cited as a factor. I don't think Kyan even remembers who she is. Sad, but this so-called Godma is about as phantom as she is. I think I should count myself lucky that she bothered to pay a visit to my house when Rayden was born at 12am cos she was waiting for her brother to fetch her here. Sometimes I wonder if she realises that children do need to sleep early.

Our friendship trails back to our NIE days where we spent many a splendoured times together. We were as close as sisters can be. We confided in each other and we practically go everywhere together. I remembered when her electricity was cut off, I lent her money to pay off her bills (of course she returned every bit of it). She didn't give me anything for my wedding cos she claimed that it was not pay day yet. That I turned 2 blind eyes to. Then she got to know G, a male close friend and that's when she turned hip and happening. Now I'm not being sour but each time she has a new man, she thinks she can brush me aside but when she runs into problems, there she'll come looking for me. She doesn't exactly have my best interests at heart, that's how I feel. When she wants to take up loan from James, she asked me if I could do it for her. Well, I'm glad I turned it down. The final straw came when she didn't attend Rayden's 1st birthday. She smsed me saying that she was reprimanded by her mum for missing the flight to her cousin's wedding so she felt rotten, hence not in the mood to attend his party. I was blown off, I mean what kind of excuse is that? Does she regard me as a friend at all? We've not spoken to each other since Rayden's birthday and I've left things at that.

It's sad how things turned out. I've sacrificed a lot for her. The latest being going to "Actors" with her so that we can catch a glipse of "S", thereafter coming home to an angry husband cos Kyan could not sleep without me, and he even fell off the bed that night. My heart ached for my poor baby then. Now, on thinking back - are all these necessary? Are my efforts being appreciated? I'm thoroughly disappointed.

So when over lunch, J and I spoke about being someone's godparent, I really wonder why people volunteer themselves for this kind of duty without putting their heart and mind and soul into it?

I rest my case.

Truth..

What goes around comes around....proven...

My new upgrade!

I've splurged on a half a carat sized diamond earrings to replace the one I've lost. I know I'm overspending but I can't help it. I've a soft spot for diamonds. Now I'm not going to look at diamonds for the next 10 years! I'm happy with all that I have!

A New Addition!

After much consideration and thought, we've finally set our eyes upon a 2nd hand metallic grey Mazda 3! We paid for the downpayment (25% of sale price) and settled all paperwork. Now we are waiting for the loan to be approved and the collection of the car thereafter! It's a big investment and we are extremely excited about it. Can't wait to sit in it. Note that I used the word - "sit". I can't muster enough courage to drive the car yet. Too out of tune in driving. Asri is different, he dreams about the car and can't wait to drive it! If all goes well, we collect the car next Thursday...

Heartbroken

I've lost one side of my diamond earrings today. Probably dropped it at Compasspoint when I was carrying Rayden and he was struggling to get down to walk. I'm so so sad. Kyan sensed my sadness and he comforted me by telling me that he'll help me search for it. He did but to no avail. He even scolded Rayden for making me sad.

Pissed! (bitching)

Today J came to me and told me that Teacher Florence had commented that Kyan is very good with dates and telling time. However, he seems to be in a world of his own and that sometimes he doesn't mix with the kids. Somehow the term 'austistic' came into our conversation. He only doesn't possess good life skills like wearing his own clothes and packing his stuff. That had me worried. I told C about it. She said this friend of ours always does this. She'll hear about certain things from the teachers and tell us all this. Well, it could cause us unnecessary worry and stress, which has indeed set me pondering! She then advised me to consult Teacher Florence personally. I did. She clarified that Kyan is a bright and intelligent child. He doesn't give behavourial problems and does behave well in school. Only certain times, he seems to be in his own world and she has to divert his attention back to where they were. And she added that it's not so bad. He'll struggle with wearing his clothes but he's not the worst. She told me not to worry. He also mixes well with his friends. Well, I feel slightly relieved. I told Asri about it. He's very against J. He even questioned what was her motive in doing all this? To get me worried? To boast that her child is well behaved and good?


J and I were good friends when I started teaching at E. Then after some time she distanced herself from me. At first I felt rather puzzled and even hurt by her actions. After that I left E and could not be bothered with her. Recently I heard from C that she said she was very stressed with me cos I'm always telling her what Kyan can do, so in other words, I'm showing off my kid. At first, I was quite pissed hearing that. I did not show off anything! She was the one who asked me what Kyan can or cannot do in the first place! Then after thinking for sometime, I am amused, I can't believe that I actually have the ability to stress people out...cool

Asri questioned her purpose in singling out children and discussing their behaviour with the teacher. He added that she's doing a lot of comparing herself! C mentioned that she'd rather not hear about what or how her chidren are doing from her mouth.


Then her child - I hate it when Kyan mixes with her cos he'll whine a lot and end up being scolded by me. She always try to show off in front of Kyan and kids being kids, they'll always want what the other has. For example, she was eating a hot dog bun when she told Kyan that she has a bun and that he doesn't. Kyan would whine that he wants one! Just today, when we reached CP's lift lobby, I told Kyan to press the lift button for me. Kyan ran to want to press the lift button but her daughter ran ahead and used her hands to cover both up and down buttons so that Kyan couldn't press any. How vicious is that! Of cos Kyan whined again. So I really hate how Kyan behaves in front of her daughter. It's just not fair that he has to get scoldings from me all the time.


No wonder familiarity breeds contempt. I'm going to distance myself from her, and my kids from her kids!

Blissful 18+++ birthday

My birthday came and went. I'm feeling a bit sentimental this time, probably it hit me this year cos I realised age is catching up with me! *SOB*. Anyway, I really enjoyed myself this year!

It started with a surprise birthday cake in which Asri was trying to put candles on when Kyan came into the room to inform me that daddy bought a cake for me. *smiles* The cake was superb! Tell me how not to put on weight despite eating the cake at 12 midnight, thereafter dozing off to sleep?
On Sunday I had tuition at Victoria. Mr Ong surprised me by coming into the classroom with a birthday cake! So sweet of him. It was a huge cake and I shared it with everyone at the centre.

Then I got my present from Asri and the boys- a pair of trilogy earrings, each diamond stands for each of the 3 boys in my life. I'm touched. We went for dinner at HRC in the evening. We had a wonderful time although Rayden created a food mess at the restaurant.


I'm truly blessed. So excited with the earrings, (*LOL*) and all the friends who had smsed or fbed birthday wishes. I'm touched that so many remembered! Thanks pals.

Shocked yet again!

Last night, when I was changing Rayden after his bath, he was scratching his penis. So I told him, "Please don't scratch your penis, or else it'll bleed."

Kyan replied, "Ya, di-di, don't scratch or else it'll become smaller and smaller and then no more!"

Mummy: *LOL* yet again...

Count my blessings

These past few weeks have been a mad rush for me, going from school to tuition and more tuition. I thank God that there's at least a week of not-waking-up-at-5am to begin the day with.



Today I woke up at 10am (pure bliss!) with the kids, fixed breakfast and lunch for them, cleaned the house a little and now the two boys are taking their nap.



Sometimes I wonder where I have the energy to work with no rest days at all. Somehow I managed to stay afloat, and swim ahead. I thank God for that, for giving me strength to move on and for taking care of everyone in my family.



It's times like these when I am eager to take stock of my good tidings and remember that I am truly blessed.



1) My children:

• When I see Kyan holding Rayden's hands and taking little steps with him, trying to follow his pace, my heart melts.
• When I see Kyan trying to entertain Rayden by telling him a story or giving him a biscuit to distract him when mummy is busy, my heart feels comforted.
• When I see Rayden trying to imitate Kyan in terms of drawing or singing or in other actions, I feel amused.
• When I see Rayden so eager to look for Kyan in the morning or when he comes home from school, I feel contented.
• When I see both of them playing or sharing with each other, I am happy.

2) My husband:

• I'm thankful that he is always there to support me in whatever I do.
• I'm blessed that he helps out with the kids and housework.

3) My Job/s

• I'd say I'm been quite lucky this year with job opportunities, apart from my fixed job. So my goal this year will be work, work, work and save more..

4) My Mum and Sis

• I'm really thankful that they take such good care of the kids during the weekends.

I'm truly blessed!

To the temple...

Last Sunday, we took a cab from home to the temple. While nearing the temple, Kyan said he knew what the words on the signboard were. There were 3 Chinese words that said, "Man Fatt Lam". So I asked him to explain. He replied," Mummy, it means 'Pai Ah Gong!'" I nearly fell off my seat!

Amazed..

I'm constantly amazed by Kyan's acute observation when it comes to details. Things that he has seen just gets absorbed into his little brain. For example, he remembers how many cabins the caterpillar monorail or the roller coaster has, in genting. And that he is able to copy whatever Asri has drawn on his magna doodle before. He also remembers the position of certain things. For example, when you shift things around the house, he can tell you what their original positions were. I mean small things like the house phone or remote control. *HAHA*

He also remembers what we have told him or things that he has heard. For example, C told him last week that she was going to come by our house on Tuesday with her kids. He remembered that on Monday and even reminded me about it!

I think I have to start enrolling him into some courses that will enhance this amazing ability of his. Tony Buzan's thinking hats course?

Rayden's progress thus far

Little Rayden is not so little anymore. He's growing so rapidly that I know I'm going to miss his baby stage!

He loves to eat! Everything and anything except baby food like porridge and biscuits and bread. Oh, he doesn't like durians too. I wonder why. He eats sweet stuff ranging from sweets, cakes, ice-cream to all kinds of other desserts. He even savours Mentos Mint! He enjoys food like nasi padang, nasi briyani and roti prata! Practically anything and everything that is.

He LOVES balls. He loves to throw and kick balls. He even concentrates on ball games oon TV, now that Olympics is on, he'll glance at the TV now and then and watch the games!

His vocab so far:
1) ball
2) bear
3) baby
4) star
5) daddy
6) gor-gor
7) Ma
8) Yi
9) mum-mum
10) no more
11) where
12) oh oh
13) shoe
14) bird
15) bread

I think he's progressing at a faster speed than Kyan used to. Well, maybe he learns a lot from his brother. He loves Kyan. He'll look for him first thing in the morning when he wakes up. He adores Kyan when he plays with him but he loves to snatch from Kyan his toys too. That's when Kyan will either scold him or whine to us that Didi has taken his stuff. He loves to sayang Gor-gor also. He's just so cute.

He can walk pretty steadily now. He'll wander away on his own if you leave him outside. I guess he's also amazed by the things he can see and touch on his own.

Seeing how the two boys get along, I feel very contented. Seeing how Kyan takes care of his brother by entertaining him when I'm in the shower, I feel touched. Brotherly love does exist at such young age. I am happy. Will I try for a girl next? I do not know.

NO cane!

At the hotel room in Genting,

Daddy: Kyan, you don;t behave yourself, I'm going to cane you!

Kyan: But, daddy, there's no cane here!

Daddy : *speechless*

I've got only 2 hands!

At Aaryan's birthday celebrations last Friday at the chalet, Kyan was holding on to a balloon and a stick. He had his hands full. Daddy was feeding Rayden the cake and Mummy was carrying Rayden. Everyone was busy.

Daddy : Kyan, can you take didi's water bottle from the bag?

Kyan : Daddy, I don't have 3 or 4 hands you know? I only have 2 hands, one to hold the balloon and one to hold the stick!

Daddy: *speechless*

Are you sleeping?

Daddy to Kyan : I've got something in my eyes so I'm closing them for a while. (Then fell asleep for half hour....)

After half and hour, daddy opens his eyes...

Kyan : Daddy, you don't have something in your eyes already? Can you read to me?

*LOL*

Kyan's PTC

We went to Carpe Diem yesterady for the PTC. Teacher Alina said that Kyan is quite good academically, that is, he is able to read and write many words. She started a journal in which the kids are supposed to draw pictures based on the current theme. Kyan drew himself, his teacher, books, school, etc. All beautifully done. He is able to write the words that go with each corresponding picture.

However, his social skills are not that evident. His teacher said that he only talks to selected people and doesn't really socialise like the kids do. He is quiet in class, the only time he 's chatty is when he is with Ariel. Other than that, he likes to be alone. His friends will crowd around him when he picks up an alphabet book and reads. He is also not enthusiastic, like what other children do, to tell the teachers about what happen during weekends or any other day. He needs prompting.

Am I worried? Of course! Interpersonal skills are very important in life! He has not shown that quality yet. Maybe we shelter him too much. So much so that he only know how to react with adults around. Asri is not too concerned over that. He says it takes time and we should just let him be and see how.

Another concern - He is also not the outdoor type. His teacher said his kinesthetic skills are not that good and that we should try to expose him to more outdoor activities.

I feel guilty. Maybe we haven't been bringing him out often for outdoor activities and thus he doesn't enjoy being outdoors. Asri said that can be worked out and again he is not worried at all! He is just so cool and relaxed about the whole PTC! I am not! I'm panicking! What can we do to stimulate him in these two areas?

I have to start reading again.

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Kopitiam!

On Saturday, in the cab on the way home,

Mummy : "Kyan, sit properly!"

Kyan : "This is not a kopitiam!"

We were stunned. On prompting him further, he revealed that Teacher Florence said that to Ariel when she didn't sit properly on the floor. Then he went on to repeat again.

"Ariel, sit properly, this is not a kopitiam, you know?"


*LOL*


.

Baby Kyan?

While lying on the bed during bedtime,

Mummy to Kyan : "I love you, baby."

Kyan : " My name is Kyan, not baby! It's K for Kyan, not B for baby!"




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Mother's Day

We celebrated on Friday when we went to Swenson's for dinner. Everyone, including Rayden, was happy. Kyan had his favourite banana split ice-cream and Rayden had a bit of everything -baked rice, spaghetti, french fries and ice cream! He was so happy that he was all smiles for the whole night.

Asri surprised me on Sunday by whipping out a mother's day cake that he bought from Swiss Bake. That's quite sweet of him. Now I better start intensive exercise...

Worry...

Just this morning, I've gotten news that one of the boys in my class had bullied his classmate last wekk. Apparently he banged his friend's head on the table, poked and his eyes and punched him. All these from a P4 boy. The victim's parents came to school this morning with an x ray of their child's head.

Thoroughout my years in teaching, I've encountered many bullying cases. And I wonder why children behave like that nowadays. There are pupils who are autistic, ADHD, bullies, have anger management issues, etc. The list goes on. What is the problem with kids now?

I fear for my kids should they enter Primary school. How do I have to teach or educate them so that they get along fine with their classmates? Social skills are so important that without it, children, no matter how bright they are, can't function normally. Pupils in the best class face different problems from those in the average-ability classes. Even if my child has the "right" values, they might not be able to get along with their classmates.

When Kyan was bitten in school by his classmate, Asri's and my mum's reaction was, "Beat her back!" That is certainly not the right way but is it fair that my child gets bullied and not retaliate?

I really worry for my children. I must start reading related books now.

Do you love me?

This was what happened when both Asri and Kyan went to fetch Rayden.

Kyan was walking behind his daddy when he asked, "Daddy, do you love me?"

Asri replied, "Yes, of course I love you".

Kyan : "If you love me, then you must carry me".

Rayden turns one!

Last year this time, my littlest prince was born. It was the first time I've gone through natural birth. It was indeed an awesome experience.

How time flies. Now he is one year old today.

The past year has not been easy for us as we had to cope with two children instead of one. A lot of adjustments had to be made. I remembered that Kyan had to adjust to having a new member, a littler one than he is, to the family,. He, of course, threw tantrums to get our attention. We would try to spend as much time as possible with him alone to let him know that we still love him. Although now he still refuses to share his toys with his brother, he'll show in other ways that he loves his brother still. Like the time we had to send Rayden to Aunt Peg's and him to Ah Ma's house, he kept asking where his "didi" was the whole day. I think he'd probably felt lonely without his brother around!

Food
Rayden used to be so chubby but after the bout of sickness with HFMD and other minor ailments, he's toned down in terms of weight. Although milk, apart from breastmilk, isn't exactly his cup of tea, he 'll still drink some every now and then. He loves to eat, from bread to biscuit to porridge! As long as it is food, he'll tell you "mum, mum" and demands to be fed. He loves to self-feed too and sometimes feed himself a tad too fast. He also knows how to associate the kitchen with food. Every morning when he wakes up, he'll point to the kitchen and mutter "mum, mum", indicating that he has to be carried there for his breakfast. Isn't he smart? *winks* Besides that, he'll show his anger if he is not allowed any food. He'll clench his fist and make noise!

Animal Lover - or rather "bird" lover
He is so amazed with birds! Each time he's outdoors, he'll point at the birds he can spot with his eyes. He loves dogs and cats too. Well, these are the common animals we usually see when we go out. On his first trip to the zoo, he was so excited at seeing so many animals, everything is "bird" or "dog" to him. We'll be at the enclosures looking at the animals when all of a sudden, he'll shout "bird" cos there are birds flying around. I'm surprised that he can actually mutter the word "bird", "cat" and "doggie" cos I don't remember Kyan being able to say that at his age.

Ball
He also loves to play balls! He'll throw the ball to you and wait for you to throw it back to him. He also knows how to say "ball" rather clearly.

Doodles
Because of Kyan, Rayden knows that a pen/pencil is for writing on paper. Each time you give him a pen and a piece of paper, he'll know to point the pen onto the paper and start dotting on it. Maybe because he has seen Kyan do that and thus " monkey see, monkey do".

Walking
Everyone tells me the 2nd child is quicker in terms of physical and language development. Rayden is faster than Kyan linguistically but not so physically cos he still can't walk! Kyan seemed to be able to walk unsteadily on his own at one year of age but not Rayden. He only stands on his feet but refuses to take a step forward unless you hold his hand.

Nevertheless, he's just so cute, in fact he's getting cuter by the day! He's so responsive to the people around him now. I know I have to cherish this stage cos he'll outgrow this very soon. Once he starts walking, he'll not be so independent to mummy then. Let's see if I'll yearn for another then.

Back to school...

Monday was especially tiring for me cos it is the first day of my teaching in school. I couldn't sleep the night before and hence, was zonked out the whole day. Teaching was fine but by afternoon, I was dead tired. The kids didn't have to wake up early today cos Asri was on leave. He was able to send them at a later time.

Tuesday was a challenging day. First, I had to send both kids in the morning so there were lots of things to get ready. While brushing Kyan's teeth, we had a conversation.

Mummy: I'm sorry that you had to wake up so early so that Mummy can go to work.

Kyan: - no response

Mummy: I want to earn lots of money so that we can go for a holiday.

Kyan: Go for holiday for what, mummy?

Mummy: Go for holiday to enjoy ourselves! Then we can bring Ah Ma too.

Kyan : And Ah Yi!

That's my sweet boy. He knows who are the dearest in the family.

I shall not talk about school and my horrifying experience with the P5 EM3s....

After school, I had to go to the centre for tuition till 9pm. Talk about working for long hours! I was so glad to see the kids after work. I missed them so much!

Back to school...

I'll be busy for the next 5 weeks cos I'll be going to school as a flexi-adjunct teacher! I feel quite half-hearted about it. Excited cos of the money but hesitant cos of the kids. I don't mind working hard but the last thing I want to do is to short change the kids. They've to be in school by 7am on Tuesdays and Wednesdays. I really do hope they are able to cope with the new routine.

Upset...

I've been giving tuition to this friend's child since beginning of this year. Recently, I do feel the strain as it's quite tiring to have this additional tuition after work at the centre. If I take cab home after this tuition, I can get home by 15 minutes - 8.15pm. But if I do that, which is always the case, I really don't earn anything at all. However if I take a bus back, then it's an hour before I get home-9pm and that's really late cos I can't really spend much time with the kids.

So I've decided to drop this tuition, but I'll still continue till SA1 which is like2 weeks later. So I smsed my friend on Friday, telling her that.

Just today I received an sms from her saying that I need not go for tuition anymore as she has found a tutor for her kid.

I was shocked. Just like that? She said that the new tutor will continue where I have left off.

I mean, it's really quite strange to stop tuition in the middle of revision, with just 2 more weeks to exams. Many questions were running through my mind - Did she think that I didn't do a good job with her kid? Was she angry that I had wanted to stop tuition just like that?

I know my conscience is clear- I have always given my best and I know I had done what I'm supposed to do. Perhaps my best wasn't good enough? I feel so upset, so disturbed.

Asri says to forget it cos my efforts were not appreciated. I really don't know what to say. Well, one thing's for sure, I'll never tutor any of my friend's kids again. It takes far too much effort to please both parent and making sure the child understands what you teach. And worse, not getting appreciated.

Maybe I'm just being paranoid and reading too much into this but that's how I feel right now.

Kyan's progress

Kyan is progressing so rapidly in terms of his word and numerical knowledge! He takes such an interest in words and numbers that he can remember stuff that he has seen quite accurately. I'm so proud of him!

To add on to the previous list:

1. Words that he can recognise:

• Cat, bat, fat, hat (thanks to leapfrog)
• MRT station names -Pasir Ris, Tampines, Eunos (thanks to ah yi)
• His own full name, Rayden's, mum, dad (Once he told me that I am Mummy Julian Asri)
• East, West (from hey diddle, diddle)
• Bus
• Sun
• Car
• His friends' names - Ariel, Kyna, Joy, Eve
• milk
• ice
• Asri and Joyce (Isn't that cool?)
• fish
• stop
• slow
• let, met,
  

2. Numbers from 1 to 100


3. Timestable 10

4. Simple addition and subtraction (although he gets confused over whether to add or minus at times)
e.g
2 + 1 = 3
5 + 5 = 10
4 + 4 = 8
3 + 3 + 3 = 9
3 - 1 = 2

5. HE KNOWS MY HANDPHONE NUMBER!

6. He knows how to read 2 simple storybooks by memorising the sentences on each page!

• My Camera
• What is it?

7. He knows how to write Chinese characters like "ren2", "xiao3"

• So he'll write "Xiao Rayden" or "Xiao Kyan"
  

Lil' Rayden

He is so vocal now! His best words are "baa, baa" and he can sorta say "bird", which he always points to when we are downstairs. He's such a happy baby and I just love to watch him play. I realised that he observes Kyan when he is playing, then imitates him. When given plastic plates and spoons, he'll act as if he is cooking. Just this morning, I fell asleep on the bed after I sent Kyan to school. Rayden was happily flipping thru the pages of Kyan's storybook. When I woke up, I realised that he had bitten off a corner of the page and was chewing on paper! This boy!

The tale of the saga continues...(Part 2)

I kept both of them at home on Monday. Their fever was subsiding but not cleared yet.

On Tuesday, both were cleared of fever. *YAY*

Then came Wednesday, Rayden had developed this rash all over his face, body, hands and legs. I didn't think very much of it as I thought was probably the after-math effect of the antibiotics.

On Thursday, Kyan's fever came back and he was coughing very badly. Rayden had more rashes and he looked like an alien baby! I remembered that Kyan had this sort of condition before. It's called "fake measles". I called Doc Sim and he said he can't confirmed over the phone but I was told to wait for 2-3 days to see if the rashes will subside.




Friday saw us bringing Kyan to Doc Sim as his cough was really bad. He was given more medication and inhaler. Doc Sim confirmed Rayden as having "fake measles".

Over the weekend, Kyan's cough was so much better and Rayden no longer looked like some alien baby-he has gotten his porcelain smooth skin back again.

I hope the saga stops here. My energy is running out...

The tale of the saga continues...(Part 1 )

On 29 Mar 2008, I was teaching when my sister told me that Rayden had developed a fever. Asri brought some medicine for him and his fever went ding-dong at 38-39 degrees. Throughout the night we were sponging him and checking his temperature.

The next day, his fever soared to 40 degrees and Kyan also had fever. His was 39 degrees and he didn't have any appetite at all. My mum and I immediately brought them to KK hospital. Without having to wait, we were asked to seek consultation at the "red"door as ours was an urgent case. The doctor examined Kyan and said that it was probable a viral infection. He was more concerned over Rayden because of his age. He sent Rayden for a blood test, x-ray and neubuliser puffs. He screamed his head off the blood test and x ray. Poor boy, my heart felt so pained. The doctor said that both of them probably were infected by the same viral infection. He said the fever will probably continue for a few days before it clears completely. They were prescribed a ton of medication. By the time we got out of KK, we looked as if we had gone shopping there with a big bag of medication!

Money making idea - a dilemma

Any amount of money is good. No one will refuse that. So, I'm contemplating to go back to school to teach, as a flexi adjunct teacher. C calculated for me how much I will get a month if I work 75 hrs for 2 weeks. Hmmm, that amount seems attractive. It can finance a lot of wants but it'll also mean that there are plenty of sacrifices. For once, the children will have to be in school by 7am so that Mummy gets to be in school for the singing of National Anthem. Shucks, I could never get used to waking up at this ungodly hour. Not before, not now. It's such a luxury to be able to sleep till the sun rises way overhead. Well, then after school, I've to rush to the centre to begin my work again. Well, as much as I can picture it, I know I'll be tired out. But the money's good. Like what Asri says, he'll be able to stay at home to be a househusband while the wife slogs hard outside...NOT..

My main concern is the kids. I'm not sure if they'll be able to succumb to waking up at such an ungodly hour. I just hope that I won't deprive them of sleep. Well, routines have to be re-adjusted again. I still have 2 weeks to plan and decide. Maybe I will try out for a month and see how. *sigh*

Cute Lil' Rayden

He's growing so fast, this little boy. He's attempting to stand, then he'll clap his hands and fall back down onto the floor/bed.



Independence! He is able to hold his milk bottle, though not all the time he's willing to do that.

Kyan's doodles

Kyan loves to write and draw. He doodles everywhere! Just yesterday, I brought him to Bright Kids to pick up Rayden. While waiting for his brother, he happily picked up the pen at the sign in and out counter and started filling in numbers in the boxes of the sign in and out sheet! Then we got home, I found out that he had also scribbled on Rayden's daily activity sheet for school! He's quite funny, this boy.

He learnt how to spell "fish" and he said teacher Nancy taught him how to draw one. (Note that there's scales on his fish)




His attempt at drawing stars and moon...

Rayden's progress

After being sick for some time, this little boy has gone down in weight. Poor thing.

• He dislikes drinking breastmilk from the bottle. Recently, we tried Promil Gold on him, he seems to like it. He's allergic to Enfapro cos when his eyes swell when he drank it on Tuesday.

• He loves to say "baa,baa, baa" and talks in his own baby language. Even Kyan seems amused by that and will imitate him.

• He cruises now, though not very confident.

• He loves to eat solid food.

• He knows that pencils/pens are used for drawing and would try to imitate Kyan to draw on paper.

• He puts everything he can reach into his mouth!

• He can clap his hands, wave bye bye and play peekaboo.

• He understands when you tell him "NO".

• He crawls pretty well.

• He is still clingy to me.

Kyan's progress

Kyan is learning so many new things everyday!

Just last month, while playing with his brother, he told Rayden, "Didi, gentaly, gentaly". I didn't understood what that was and it turned out to be "gently". He couldn't pronounce that no matter what. *LOL*.

Then he was building some stuff and when he finally managed to do it, he shouted,"Yay, I GID IT!" Haha, that translates to "I DID it".

However, when I asked his the other day, he could pronounce these two words clearly now. My little boy.

Well, he has indeed grown up a lot.

1. Words that he can recognise:

• Cat, bat, fat, hat (thanks to leapfrog)
• MRT station names -Pasir Ris, Tampines, Eunos (thanks to ah yi)
• His own full name, Rayden's, mum, dad (Once he told me that I am Mummy Julian Asri)
• East, West (from hey diddle, diddle)
• Bus
• Sun
• Car
• His friends' names - Ariel, Kyna, Joy, Eve

2. Numbers from 1 to 100

3. Timestable 10

4. Draws pretty well

Pic 1: Mummy carrying Rayden, Kyan, and Daddy (Dun ask why Mummy's so BIG)

Pic 2: Mummy's eating an apple

Pic 3: Our whole family again
(When my mum saw his pic 1, she told him that he must add more hair to the people that he's drawing. He remembered that and thus for Pic 3, more hair added was added to everyone!)

Time with Kyan

Yesterday, Kyan and I had some fun time alone. I really miss spending time with him. I've gotta bring him out more often.

We went to Downtown East for lunch at Burger King's. He had his favourite chicken tenders and fries. I had to coax him to try some tomato ketchup and he was hooked on it! Then we spent about an hour at Kids Explorer. Kyan is definitely not an "explorer". He doesn't dare to venture out to new places on his own. I had to take him to through the maze before he was confident to go on his own. I definitely have to expose him to more new things!

Then we took the train to Orchard to meet Asri there. We shopped for a while before heading back home. It was a lovely afternoon spent with my darling.

Bugged...

Everyone I know is sick. My whole family is sick. And I was sick the entire last week. When will this end? It's so frustrating to see our house turn into a mini pharmacy. I need to disinfect the house soon, get it rid of germs and viruses! Begone all you flu and cough bug, you are unwelcomed here!

10 million dollars!

If I had 10 million dollars, I will

• pay in full for our current Punggol flat,
• buy an apartment at Amber View - the one with the nice balcony overlooking the sea,
• get a beetle for myself and paint it pink!
• get a car for Asri too,
• invest in blue chips,
• save for Kyan and Rayden,
• distribute part of my wealth to mum and sis,
• go for a well-deserved holiday for the whole family,
• go shopping and get presents for everyone I know!
• donate a large sum to children and cancer charities
  

CNY 2008 - the not-so-pleasant part

Then came the third day. Rayden had fever and it didn't go down despite the medicine. It got worse on Sunday morning so I brought him to the GP downstairs. He was given Brufen- a stronger fever medicine and Oralcort - a cream for his ulcers in the mouth. I suspect that he had HFMD but the GP wasn't sure.

His ulcers became worse. More started appearing in his mouth, on his tongue, gum and lips. He was so cranky that he couldn't sleep or feed. He didn't even want to suckle. He was still having high fever of 39 degrees.

Then on Monday morning we brought him to see Doc Sim. He said the poor boy's mouth was full of ulcer and that he was in a lot of pain. My heart felt so pained. He said to spoonfeed him with milk and to let him have ice cream and yoghurt. These will help to soothe his throat. He was given Difflam- a gel for ulcers and Tonimer- a throat spray.

We spoon fed him with cold expressed milk and Heinz fruit gel. He quite liked it. Despite being sick, he could still clap his hands when we asked him to. My little brave boy.

Then came the many sleepless nights cos the little one refused to sleep on the bed and needed someone to carry him all the time. Both Asri and I were completely exhausted.

Now my only hope is that Kyan doesn't infected by it.

CNY 2008 - the happier part

We had 2 full days of visiting. 1st day was to all the aunties' houses and 2nd day was to Sally Jie Jie's house for sharkfin's then everyone came to our place for dinner. Kyan was delighted at seeing his house full of people, so much so that he was actually quite sad when all left. He didn't verbalise it but just remained very quiet when we were cleaning up the house. Poor boy. Rayden was clinging tightly to Mummy or Daddy cos everyone was trying to carry him.

Scratched Tag!

This may sound bimbotic but my tag suffered a scratch on Tues afternoon! I accidentally hit it against the glass table top at the centre. The scratch is so obvious..My heart is broken.

Marriage

I've just watched Grey's Anatomy. Had to keep the volume down cos the males of the family were all sleeping. Back to the episode, Allison asked the black guy who was divorced from his wife, whether he had an affair. He said no. Then she asked why then the divorce. He said one day he just woke up and knew he had to walk away, walk away from the marriage.

That's strange isn't it? No quarrels, no betrayals, no disagreements. The love just died out like that. I remembered telling Asri exactly that years ago. I, of course , had my fears about getting married. I was afraid that our love would just fizzled out like that. But why is that so? How can one's feelings for someone just disappear like that ? It really doesn't make sense.

Probably the routine of everyday life puts a toll on the marriage. You do the same things everyday and there's no excitement to look forward to anymore. After marriage, you just get too lazy to do anything cos you are too used to everything. Does it sound reasonable?

It's very easy to slip into this state, especially after we have kids. They just take up so much of our time that we don't spend much couple time together. That's why we make it an effort to try to celebrate special occasions like birthdays and anniversaries together. He'll try to take leave on my off days so that we could go out for a nice meal when the kids are in school.

I think communication is so very important in a relationship. Our conversations just revolve around the kids. Even if we are spending coupletime together, we'll still talk about them! I guess that's quite unavoidable. He also tells me about his work and we'll still chit chat on the phone everyday when he's at work. So, I think, it's not so bad.


For Asri and me, I think the long dating period works. We 've had so many quarrels and trying to sort out our relationship then. Probably that's why we understand each other's temperament now. But it's also easier to take things for granted. Maybe I'm guilty of that sometimes. But he always gives in to me. I think if not for his patience, we would not have lasted for so long. Between us, I'm the rash one, the one who does things without thinking at times. He's the calmer one and he always offers a different perspective cos he's more analytical, maybe from a male's point of view. Sometimes he helps me to see things in a different light.

Probably that's what makes our relationship work. We are different yet similar. We've grown so used to each other. Maybe we should join some know-your- spouse-contest and win some money. Ha

Housecleaning

I'm so exhausted from cleaning the house. This is major cleaning for Chinese New Year.

Happy Birthday..darling!

We celebrated Asri's birthday yesterday with his favourite durian cake. Kyan loved it so much that he had 4 (small) pieces!

Then I gave him his watch...He loves it!

Today I went shopping with Sandee at Tampines Mall. She just casually asked me to get a Tag for myself. I joked and told her I'll sms Asri to ask him whether he wanted to buy for me. I almost couldn't believe it when he said yes! Wow, I was very pleasantly surprised!

Now I feel bad for not buying him a Tag...

AND our 6th anniversary's coming up. Time really flies, 7 years of dating, 6 years of marriage plus 2 kids. I think we've come a long way.

My husband

I'm really thankful for him. Sometimes when I hear my friends speaking about what their husbands are like, it makes me appreciate him more.

As a daddy-
On days when I've to work late, he takes care of the children by himself (which drives him nuts sometimes) but he manages alright. He plays with them, cooks for Kyan, feeds Rayden, bathe both of them, takes Kyan for train rides and showers them with so much love! I'm thankful that when I'm not around, the children are ok with him (unlike some of my friends where their kids cling onto their mummy and refuse daddy).

As a husband-
He'll try his best to provide for me and buys me things that I love! I'm still waiting for my Rolex though. He sacrifices a lot of his time for me and I know I don't tell him enough how much appreciative I am of him but I really do. SO, he's going to get a "BIG" present for his birthday next week. *grin*

Brothers' Love

Both of them adore each other as of now still. Kyan will play with his brother sometimes by trying to make him laugh and just the other day, while he was playing by himself, he stopped, gave Rayden a kiss on his head then continued playing again. Both Asri and I saw that and we were so touched! There are times when Rayden tried to snatch his toy or "destroys" whatever he has laid out on the floor and he'll come to me, looking exasperated to complain about his brother. He will not hit Rayden or push him away. Ha, that's my sweet boy.

Rayden on the other hand, gets so excited upon hearing Kyan's voice and seeing him when he comes home from school everyday. In the mornings, he will try to wake Kyan up if he sees Kyan sleeping. He'll look in wonder at Kyan when he sings at the top of his voice. I prefer to call that "admiration". *grins*

So for now, I'm happy that the two of them get along with each other, hopefully it'll stay this way always.

My little "train" boy

He's so obsessed about trains, especially MRT trains! He loves it when Asri takes him on the LRT, even if it's only for a round. And every night he'll make Asri spell the names of the LRT stations and he'll write them out on his magna doodle board. So much so that he knows how to spell Cove, Meridian, Punggol and Oasis on his own.

My mum and sis also take him on train rides along the EastWest bound tracks. He knows all the stations from Pasir Ris to Cityhall (cos that's usually how far he'd gone) and their respective station numbers! He loves the black and red train cabins. Ha

His obsession with trains continues in the bathroom. Whenever we bathe him, he'll treat the shower door as the train doors and he'll go on and on about the announcements made in the train. AND we can't leave the toilet unless it "stops" at Meridian station!

Baby Rayden

He has two distinct lower teeth and one left side incisor! He can crawl pretty fast, but he's very clingy to us. He needs one adult to carry him all the time.

Food he has eaten so far:

• avocado
• banana
• apple
• watermelon
• plum
• bread
• Baby bites biscuit
• Frisocrem rice and wheat
• Organic brown rice-Earth's best
• carrot
• potato
• porridge
  

The New Year 2008

My resolutions:

1. Save money
2. Make more money
3. Be more hardworking at work
4. Get a car
   

Belated Flashback 2007

I've been wanting to post his for quite some time but didn't get the chance to do it...until now. Here's my take for year 2007...


Jan 2007-
Asri, Kyan and I (with baby Rayden inside me) went for a 3day-2night vacation to Club Med Bintan. It was pure enjoyment with us eating and eating non-stop! I must have gained a few pounds!


Mar 2007-
Back to teaching at school. Was in the morning session. IT was terrible having to teach and being pregnant at the same time. Did a lot of relief. Sometimes 9 periods straight. Was so hungry!


Apr 2007-
Baby Rayden was born on 30th April 2007 @ 1349. He was an overdue baby! Due date's supposed to be 28th April. I guessed he didn't feel ready to come out then.

I was at my mum's on 29th April. Felt mild contractions but could still take it. Came back with Kyan in the evening time. Asri had to work late. Then the contractions were stronger. It was 12midnight. I knew it wouldn't be so fast so I forced myself to sleep. Kept waking up every 15mins to 1/2 hour. It rained heavily in the middle of the night. I felt too lazy to wake up and prepare everything in the cozy weather so I forced myself to sleep again. Finally woke up at 6am. Called school to tell them I wasn't going that day. Then we packed and sent the half-sleep Kyan to my mum's.

When we got to the hospital, it was already 715am. Was admitted and waited for Doc Han to come. Told him straight that I wanted epidural. I did not want to challenge my threshold for pain. He said he had to burst the waterbag before they could administer the jab. Trust me- I've never been so violated before! The pain of the waterbag being burst was@!!?? After the jab, I could relax and sleep while waiting for the dilation.

THEN I felt pain! Extreme pain on my right abdominal. Called in the doc. He said there was a slight chance that my C-section wound may burst! I panicked. I was in so much pain that I asked to have the epidural dosage increased! Thank God they did. And I was back to my initial relaxed state. *phew*

Soon it was noon. Asri felt hungry so he went down to have a bite. The nurse came in to check for my dilation. She asked where Asri had gone to. I told her he was having lunch. She said I had better get him to come back FAST.

He did but he smelt so much of curry that I felt sick. So poor him, he went to gargle his mouth with liquid hand wash to get rid of the smell. Then Doc Han came in. I was asked to lift up my legs. Apparently, I've reached full dilation and they could see the baby's hair! I was asked to push. I did but I couldn't feel anything! So Doc Han actually pushed my stomach in a downward motion to "push" the baby out. Then the nurse had to clean his mouth before she "whacked" him to make him cry. Th reason being-he had pooped and had poo on his mouth! Yuck! *smiles* That's baby Rayden!

Then he was weighed and measured....while I was being stitched up. I didn't feel anything at all. I could still laugh and joke. Then I held Baby Rayden in my arms. The feeling was just indescribable.

I stayed a night at the hospital and it sucked cos I couldn't sleep. I missed Kyan and Asri so much. The good thing was I could go back the next day. The bad news was that baby Rayden had to stay on cos he had jaundice. Poor thing!

Thank God he could go back on 2nd May. Then that was the start of the month long confinement period.


May 2007-
To sum it up, I've been through RE_STITCHING of the wound!, Malay massage in which Saniah burped so excessively, breastfeeding and spending lots of time online! *Grin*


June 2007-
Back to work at the centre and Baby Rayden was placed in Bright Kids.


August 2007-
Finally mustered up enough courage to go for lasik! Actually, Belle and I had our op just a day after our evaluation test so there wasn't much time to think. It was the best rash decision I've made for myself. It was as if I've regained my "new" eyesight, which logically speaking, is quite true.


September 2007-
I received my first Coach bag from darling Asri for my birthday! *Whee*


December 2007-
I received my first Coach wallet from Asri...again! *yay*

In General:

• Centre's biz was better this year than last year. May it be better next year!
• I'm happy with my life at the present moment. Everything's in place and I feel contented.
  

Kyan's reasoning

Kyan has been holidaying so much that he has gotten the I-dun-want-to-go-back-to-school blues. He cried nearly every morning since 2nd Jan 2008. I called up his teacher to ask about him. Teacher Alina said he'll cry each time he takes his shower in school. She figured it was probably the new classroom's toilet that traumatizes him cos the tap's water pressure's stronger so he didn't really like it. She said she'll talk to him. That was last week.

This week's so much better! He'll tell me that he's a good boy in school.

Mummy: Kyan, did you wash your hair in school today?

Kyan: No, I washed body only.

Mummy: Why you washed your body only?

Kyan: Because I didn't wash my hair!

Mummy: *surrendered*